Dear friends, this is going to be a very personal post, so if that doesn’t interest you, skip this one.

I have been through a very difficult time of purification leading up to this Congress, but yesterday, Thursday, July 18, Day Zero of Congress, I suddenly felt fine. I thought to myself, thank God I got through that.

Of course, I also knew that there might still be difficult times ahead in the pressure cooker of Congress. But for the moment I felt great.

But then this morning, the morning of Friday, July 19, I woke up feeling like a mess again. You see I have two natures, one is the nature of a crab, and the other is the nature of a lion.

Yes, my birthday is coming up on July 23 (No no presents please) which is the Cusp of Cancer and Leo. Lion and crab. Fire and water. No wonder I am so frequently confused, with those two very different creatures running around inside me. Now one is in the ascendancy, now the other. So yesterday I was feeling like a lion, and then this morning I woke up feeling like the crab.

Let me mention as a digression, that I have been organising my funeral lately and I must say I have organised things very well, and the other day I was talking to the woman who runs the funeral parlour, and she said, “you are very well organised. Are you so well organised in every department of your life?”

And I said, “I am well-organised in some areas, but other areas are a trainwreck.”

So, this morning was waking up in the trainwreck, in my crab nature. Confused, oppressed, full of doubt, vulnerable, scared, pessimistic, hopeless, feeling worthless and inadequate.

I had something to eat, I said my prayers, I had a shower, at least I was up and functioning.

Then, I had an interesting thought.

The thought was this. When I am feeling strong, when I am feeling like a lion, I am capable of doing good things. So I thought to myself, I wonder if the process would works in reverse? I wonder if I tried to do a good thing, my lion nature would start to reassert itself.

And it worked. I really started working on this blog and taking it very seriously, and immediately my mood improved. I felt like I had discovered one of the secrets of life. Now, if only I can remember it.

Then I got an email that turned my mood into joy.

I belong to an email club with a few other Subud friends and recently one suggested that every month each one of us should distribute a song we liked. But it was a strict rule, only one song per month per person. Then, this very morning, I received another song from this person. I’m pretty sure that would make it two songs he has distributed this month, but hey, rules were made to be broken and I must say I love this song.

It is a commercial for Bhutan Airlines but based on a joyful South African song about everyone getting on together with wonderful dance moves by the Bhutan airlines staff. Bhutan girls can really move. They really rock.

Cheers, Harris