Photo: Darius and friends…

Whatever the truth of the story of Fatima, what is certain for me personally is that Mary is the mother of God and the most holy woman in heaven. And it is of no surprise, it is a great interest and curiosity to me.

That as this magnificent journey begins into the new era, we are called to go to Portugal where the mother of God is present, the feminine, intuitive, loving and nurturing qualities that we need to feel for each other will be present.

Mary wants to again remember and celebrate and be grateful for the fact that this is one Congress, with one family, in one love, in one body, of Christ of Adam and of Bapak. Insha’Allah amen.

Sharif Horthy, Tuti and some of Bapak’s family shared some testimonials a few nights ago, and one thing that stands out in particular he was saying when Bapak first walked past him in Coombe Springs, it was as if he had no confidence in himself at all, whereas normally we can feel someone’s presence and energy, if we are close to them.

With Bapak it was as if he was not there and as Sharif talked, I felt I saw this vision of a being the size of the planet Jupiter, who was not really on the earth, but through, Bapak’s surrender was able to be in contact with humans and all that Bapak is, was completely surrendered to this Bapak who could change shape and size and do whatever was needed by God’s will to meet every person he met with unconditional love; who was invincible if people tried to fight with him; who was nothing but kindness with children; who in effect was just as Christ said in the Bible, “Be as little children…”  but also, as a father who loved all of his children.

This reminded me of when I first got opened, and a year later I asked, “Who is Bapak?” And I felt a being the size of the planet Jupiter come into the Quaker House at Birmingham. And I was crushed to the floor until I had to say enough, enough. And it left me trembling for a good day or two, and I have never needed to ask who is Bapak since. For Bapak really is the father of mankind and has called his children here.

When I was listening to the Kalimantan story, there was a picture of Bapak in Kalimantan in the early days. And he was looking at the camera, and as is so often the way when we look at a picture of Bapak, sometimes it is if he was there staring straight at us. And for one moment, he looked straight at me, and he reminded me that he had called me here personally for a purpose to use the gift that he gave me many, many years ago.

The people on the stage sharing stories are huge beings; one woman, an entrepreneur here, who worked closely with Bapak and was encouraged to become a business woman. It was if she had a steel rod from the heavens down through her spine and into the earth. And yet she was a frail lady. And the force of these beings who are here to serve God is quite extraordinary. I feel honoured that Bapak has called me personally to Kalimantan and over the duration of this Congress I have received and been shown that it is time to let go of everything at home. And to come here for a while, that perhaps I might be of service to Bapak’s mission.

For in truth something that can, perhaps, be revealed now, that actually we are here to build heaven on earth, and I feel that Bapak’s vision for Kalimantan is no less than a new Jerusalem. I’ve heard that the Chair of Subud New Zealand a few years ago received to come here and learn how to make earth bags for quick fast shelters, earth bags are in fact very practical insulation, keeping cool and heat in, because he felt that many people would come as refugees to this place from all over the world and that we should prepare for that.

What I’m aware of is that there are some truly wise and beautiful souls here, all of whom know what is actually going on behind the scenes.

There are forces here that do not want us on this planet. Think of the news and all the fear, and perhaps the greatest trick of all those serving the other side have done is to convince us all in the west that none of these things really exist, and yet here in the east, what we might call mental health and mental illness and disturbances in a practical way, in a body somatic way, in our western medicine, here they know this to be in fact a spiritual attack, and yet nothing is more powerful in saying I am a son of Bapak, the Holy Spirit, or, the latihan, or calling upon the name of Jesus Christ.

And for a while, we are also Bapak’s children, some of us are now called to become spiritual adults and to co-create through service to this new Jerusalem. I have been called here to rest and recuperate and I have been offered the chance to volunteer at the BCU school, which is just wonderful.

Meanwhile, I remembered a vision I had of what education really is at the age of 15, because my education was taken from me through violence and bullying and a rough background so that my dreams were put on the back burner, just so that I might survive going to school every day and combating the 10s, 20s and sometimes even 50 people at a time were out to get me.

When my parents went to the deputy headmaster and said this time Darius is really getting hurt and bullied, the only response they got was, well I would like to bully him too. I have received since that all these people that were out to get me, I have harmed or even killed in a past life, and this is just karma.

Now though, as I come here and I realize that I have lived in fear my whole life and that every choice and every decision has been based from fear, fear of loss or fear of being nobody, which indeed was literally told to me by a man I crossed paths with just a day or two ago. We were not talking about anything particular at all and he just said, “Darius, just receive, you have been so good for 51 years, but let me tell you, everything you have done so far has been based on fear. Now you come here to Kalimantan to be empty and learn to live from love.”

This is literally what I have been experiencing since a recent breakup, to have self-compassion and to have love for myself and indeed to have compassion for the other person as well. For all of us are so frightened and so angry that we don’t get what we want and so upset that it’s not fair if we remain in a childlike state. But now perhaps there is an opportunity with this World Congress for us to let go of our fears, our angers, our hurts, our wounds and our childlike state and be called to step up.

To step up into our spiritual adulthood, where we know as an adult and a parent that if there is a fire there, a child might get burnt once, but we will keep the fire there and allow them to hopefully learn for themselves not to keep putting their hands into the fire. And all we need to do now is not keep returning to the same patterns that keep us stuck and keep hurting us. And we will keep doing this, this is not God’s punishment; in Islam, it is said this is not God’s punishment, this is simply so we might learn to choose God, who is unconditional love.
And it feels here that this particular Congress is nothing but unconditional love.

And that perhaps all of us who are here are blessed to have the opportunity through either illness, or through receiving, or through a conversation, or through simply being quiet, and we allowed ourselves to be guided to the next place, or even to rest, to let go of our old dramas, and feel the power of unconditional love. And bring that back into our lives when we return.

This was most noticeable when the international helpers tested where should the next World Congress be, and it was Portugal. Afterwards there were maybe one or two voices of frustration saying we have worked so hard for our project, perhaps you can ask again with a different language, different wording. 

And then others spoke up and said remember Pueblo and how much we were helping support Pueblo and the perhaps we should come together as a family and support Portugal. And by the time of only a few short minutes of conversation there was no dissent, no abstentions, just a completely unified agreement that we should support Portugal in building whatever is necessary to hold the next World Congress.