Simone Melder says, ‘Go for it’…

Receiving the latihan has been the most important, the most precious thing that has ever happened to me in my life.  From the moment I was opened and felt the first stirring of the vibration of life within my being, I felt I had to do something to repay God for this incredible blessing.

Despite many personal hardships in my purification process, I found working for Subud most rewarding.  For the first couple of years of my Subud life, I worked as Librarian of the Melbourne group and then went on to becoming the Group Secretary – which position I remained in for close on twelve years!  I cannot count the many blessings I received as a result of doing this work.

Throughout this time I always looked up to the helpers who had given me so much of their time, patience and understanding and hoped someday I could be a helper too, so I could share the great love that God had bestowed on me.

I joined the helpers group after sixteen years of being in Subud – and it was a “baptism by fire”.  I spent the first few years of my candidacy in tears, as I was told by one of the helpers that I was not fit to be a helper and should have stayed on as Secretary!  (Looking back, I can see that this helper was probably right, although it hurt at the time! We have both moved on since then, and can now laugh about it! )

I plodded on with God’s help and staying in this role was a huge learning process for me.  It gave me added strength to face the harsh world outside.  Bapak said that “work that is difficult to do is precisely what one needs to face, for its difficulty forms a test.  If you are afraid of difficulties, you will always be unable to make progress in anything you need to do.  Thus, these difficulties are exactly what you very much need, in order to be able to learn from them, so that you can know their causes, and the various reasons for them”.

I am now no longer able to be an active helper, due to family constraints, but I try to do the best I can, with all the love in my heart, and that’s all that matters.  I cannot always be right and I do acknowledge my mistakes and ask forgiveness of all those whom I have hurt, unwittingly.

To those of you contemplating taking on a Subud job, I would say “Go for it –  give it all you’ve got!  The rewards are immeasurable and you gain much more than you give!  In closing I would like to reproduce a  poem I wrote many years ago called “Indispensable”.

I know I am not indispensable

But it would help if I were loved and appreciated

for what I am and what I do 

and what I give of myself, while I am here.

 

I know I am just a cog in a wheel

And when I am old and rusty

and of no more use

I will be dispensed with – and replaced

  with another  shinier,  ‘more excellent’  cog!

 

I know I will not be missed when I am gone

But while I am here, I give of my best

I put my heart and soul into all I do

I do not seek reward

I try to help the wheel spin round

happily – and in harmony.

 

God made us all individuals

There’s a time and place for us all

He sees us – every cog – whether big or small, whether old or rusty

He loves us – no matter what we are!

 

He will gather us in His arms, nurture and cherish us

when we are not wanted by anyone in this world

In His eyes – we are INDISPENSABLE

We are all very important cogs

In the wheel of life.